I recently came across a book with the intriguing title “Olympic Security English.” With chapters ranging from “Giving Directions” to “Dealing with Brawls” this text covers all the bases. It is good to know the police will be prepared in 2008. Here is an excerpt:

At the Lost and Found Office:
Foreigner: Hello, officer.
Police: Hello, sir!
F: I’m Joe Kennedy. I’ve been notified to come here for my lost wallet.
P: Please give me the Report on Lost Article.
F: Okay. Here you are.
P: To make sure, will you tell me what’s in the wallet?
F: It’s black and rectangular.
P: What’s in it?
F: 300 US dollars, 3000 yuan, 2 telephone cards, and 3 credit cards.
P: Anything else?
F: And a photo of my wife and daughter.
P: Absolutely right! Here is your wallet. Please sign your name on the Report on Lost Article.
F: All right. It’s really incredible! A lost wallet can be recovered! Only in Beijing can this be possible!
P: The taxi driver found it and sent it here.
F: Thank you very much. I really appreciate your efforts.

While I am certainly happy for Mr. Kennedy, I have some serious doubts as to the veracity of this exchange. Only in Beijing indeed.

For more on the book check out: Book will help police converse with English speakers and Beijing police learning ‘Olympic Security English’.